What Is Self-Love for Women of Color? It’s Love for Oneself!

What Is Self-Love for Women of Color? It’s Love for Oneself!

Self-love and narcissism are two commonly confused words, which can have their meanings intertwined in some respects, but they are separate concepts that we need to understand. In this blog, we’re going to show you what self-love is for a woman of color and ways to practice it and talk about why narcissism is not self-love.

What’s narcissism? 

Self-love? It’s not. 

Someone is often referred to as a narcissist because she’s self-involved.  But there is more to this than we all know. 

A narcissist is self-indulgent and preoccupied with their success and achievements. They crave attention, regard themselves as someone of high importance, and love other people’s admiration.

However, they cannot maintain or even build connections with the rest of the world just because of their lack of empathy and compassion and strong sense of entitlement.

Being preoccupied with success, beauty, power, and love, narcissists are sometimes regarded as people that practice self-love, but they don’t.

Narcissism is totally different from self-love and compassion for all the women of color out there.

So, what’s self-love?

According to the BBR Foundation, it is the appreciation for oneself that blooms and develops from our actions and supports our growth – spiritually, physically, and psychologically.

  • What it is:  Self-love is giving importance to ourselves and looking after our happiness and well-being.   It is settling for what we deserve like wearing the clothes we love.
  • What it is not: It is not about sacrificing our well-being, happiness, health, and needs to please others.  It’s not about putting ourselves last on the list in everything.

Every individual has their definition and expression of loving oneself, but one thing is certain. It’s how we take care of ourselves and make our well-being and happiness a priority – not an OPTION

Nevertheless, narcissism is not self-love because people with narcissistic personality disorders are in love with their grandiose and idealized image – that prevents them from feeling insecure. 

So, if you’re practicing self-love, you’re not a narcissi st.  As it is unselfish, it does not lack empathy or consideration for others, and it is not being manipulative and demanding.  

What’s self-love to you?

It can be happiness, appreciation, well-being, and compassion towards oneself, depending on how someone defines it.

For others, it can be talking about and to themselves with love, while the rest consider it as prioritizing, being true, and trusting themselves.

All these are excellent ways to practice loving oneself.

And when talking about self-love, we also find ourselves discussing self-care, and that’s a good thing.  Self-care is another way to say self-love.

Self-Love Statements All Women of Color Must Live By

Make it a point to always practice self-love to avoid those dark thoughts creeping in our minds due to a lot of things like insecurities. Here are some statements to live by for all the women of color.

 “I am beautiful. Seeing beauty in someone else doesn’t mean I don’t have beauty in myself.”

Everybody has insecurities, but don’t let this get into you to think negatively about yourself. 

Wear your favorite clothes for classy women and increase your level of confidence. 

Don’t put yourself down by comparing it to other women.  

Practice confidence! Like muscle, it needs training. Strengthen and flex it in every way you can like wearing your favorite outfit, developing your skills, and believing in yourself. 

“I put myself first, no matter what.” 

Be your #1 cheerleader!  

With the constant pressure we have at work or in our personal lives, we tend to ignore our effort. 

We tend not to credit ourselves for doing a great job and accomplishing something – no matter how little.

Practice self-love. Show yourself some appreciation. Whether it is a trip to the spa, a new dress after a promotion, or a coffee break, do it.

Avoid being your worst critic. Instead of speaking harshly to yourself and naming it mean things whenever you commit a mistake, celebrate your successes and YOURSELF. 

“I feel complete with or without someone with me.”

Prioritize yourself.  As women of color, we sometimes get used to putting the welfare of our loved ones first. While it is not bad, we need to recognize that we have our personal needs to fulfill, too. 

Don’t make putting yourself last on the list a habit that becomes your normal way of life. Otherwise, it can cost you your emotional and mental health.  

Learn how to take a break, decompress, and just be with yourself – out in nature, at the wellness spa, or in an outdoor adventure. 

“I am confidently sexy!”

You are glowing and exuding with confidence. People are drawn into you because you have high self-esteem and a great level of confidence.  

Develop your confidence with the right style and dressing up for the occasion like wearing party wear for black women or luxury looks for brown skin women to feel good from the inside and out. 

You should also invest in yourself and your skills. As they say, pay yourself first. And this sounds true to develop confidence, doesn’t it? 

Tap into what you’re best at and always lead with your contagious energy. 

Tips to Practicing Self-Love

Self-love motivates us to choose ourselves – and make healthy choices for a happy and well-lived life. Whatever makes you feel more alive and happy, whether it’s shopping for high class dresses for black women or having a salon day weekly, do it!  Here are a few more ways we can practice it. 

1.Do not compare yourself to others. 

Humans are naturally competitive and tend to compare themselves to other people.

However, it can backfire and harm us – especially our mental well-being.

When we try comparing ourselves, like on social media, we often end up lonely because we feel that we’re not enough, we’re not successful, and we’re no good. 

Instead of comparing yourself to other people, focus on your journey and yourself – and feel free. You’ll notice the big difference in the shift of energy and develop a more positive outlook.

  1. Set boundaries.

Establish your personal identity by setting healthy boundaries, which can be emotional or physical.  

It is one of the best ways to show kindness and compassion to yourself.  

What is a boundary? It’s an invisible space or limit between you and others, with the primary purpose of protecting and taking good of yourself. 

Boundaries also ensure you’re mentally and emotionally stable. They can be loose, rigid, or in the middle, but sometimes nonexistent for some people.  

Not having healthy boundaries can be dangerous and indicate our lack of identity.  Individuals without them don’t clearly communicate what is and what is not acceptable for them.

But setting limits or boundaries is crucial to self-love because it can define one’s identity and encourage respect.  For example, asking someone not to demand your time or company when you don’t want to is a form of boundary.  Or it is as simple as saying NO when you mean NO. 

3.Be yourself.

Whether you want a simpler You Better Work Off Shoulder Jumpsuit or a more daring Hold Your Pearls Sexy Jumpsuit, wear it! There is no stopping you. 

Being confident in your skin and being in your tribe is one of the secrets to a never-ending self-love that will always put a smile on your face (and bring joy to your heart).

By being true to yourself, you do not also wear a different mask on a certain occasion to feel that you belong. It’s just feeling happy and confident of what and who you are – no pretension.

4.Don’t mind other people’s opinions about you or your actions.

A sure-fire recipe for disaster (and loneliness) is allowing others to take the driver’s seat. It’s allowing that noise to affect and influence your decision and choices like on what to wear on certain occasions. 

You have the freedom to make a choice.  You can wear that dress that can make you feel more confident and beautiful. As remember, YOU DO YOU.

It is the same as trying to lose weight. You do it for yourself because you want to feel and look good and that you want to be healthy. It is not because you want to impress your partner or someone else.

Don’t worry about what people expect or think of you. We cannot please everyone. 

Otherwise, you’d just waste your time and energy on trying to please everyone around you or trying to belong in their world.  

You belong in your world - and you don’t need to live up to other people’s expectations. Or else, you’ll end up always wearing a mask. 

5.Let go of toxic people.

Do you feel not having enough energy after talking to a toxic person in the workplace?  Do you feel mentally drained after talking to someone over the phone? 

If some people are bringing in toxicity into your life, step away and let go of them. 

Don’t be afraid to do it because it will set you free! 

Besides, self-love is also about protecting your energy and mental well-being from those energy vamps and toxic people.

6.Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

Perfection will prevent you from exploring things or taking risks for the fear of failure or losing. 

Trying to be perfect also leads to a boring life.

We’re humans, and we’re not perfect. 

Everyone makes a mistake. Do not feel the pressure of not failing, or else, you’ll end up not trying at all.

Who knows? That one shot is what can bring you success? So, don’t be afraid to make mistakes. 

We learn and grow from them, not from our comfort zones. 

At the end of the day, what matters is you strive hard to be the better version of yourself today than you were yesterday. 

After all, little progress is better than no progress at all.

7.Trust yourself

Learn how to trust yourself - that you can make a good decision. 

Do not doubt yourself and your ability to decide for yourself. 

In your heart, you know what the best for you will be. Learn how to recognize your feelings and trust yourself.  After all, no one knows yourself better than you.

8.Practice boldness and be vulnerable.

Express yourself – boldly. Let your voice be heard, contribute what you’re thinking, and join the conversation!  Boldness takes practice that develops over time and needs nurturing. 

At the same time, feel confident of yourself and be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to show your human side. 

Being vulnerable means talking frankly and openly about how you’re feeling and allowing others to know you fully, including your feelings, thoughts, weaknesses, and challenges.

  1. Wear the clothes you love! 

To all women of color, self-love is also about wearing the clothes they love, whether it is party wear for black women or luxury looks for brown skin women

Wearing fitting and flattering clothes allows them to bring out their confidence and style. 

After all, a part of self-love is also showing the world how you embrace yourself holistically - clothing choice included.

Final Thoughts 

Self-love is not narcissism. Instead, it’s love for oneself while having empathy and consideration for others, knowing how to listen, being vulnerable, and not seeking perfection nor craving for admiration.

How you express self-love, either by wearing high class dresses for black women or putting on red lipstick,  is up to you, but at the end of the day remember, “You are important, too. You deserve nothing less than you deserve.” 

Practice compassion, appreciation, and care for yourself – and see how you can give more to the people that matter.  After all, you cannot pour from an empty glass. Love yourself first.

Which among these self-love tips have you been practicing in your life? Tell us in the comments.

Author bio: Nikki is a fashion enthusiast and loves things about clothing, style, and fashion in general. She loves writing about the latest fashion trends and updates that everyone must know. 

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